Far Away
by Echo-ofaScream
Summary: MD. Takes place after Losing My Religion.
1. Chapter 1

Author: Echo-ofaScream  
Title: Far Away  
Pairing: MD  
Summary: Set after Losing My Religion.

Chapter 1.

Her eyes shift from Derek to Finn. Finn to Derek. She was in a trance-like state. Contemplating the advantages and disadvantages of both men. Comparing them. Intense or calm. Surgery or pony births. "I love him so much" or "I could like him."

Derek. Married.

Finn. Single.

How does one make a decision when your heart is conflicting with your mind?

You don't.

"Mer-" Derek begins to say her name again. He starts taking a step towards her.

Back to reality.

"Izzie," Meredith states. "I have to go find Izzie. She needs me." Meredith leaves both men standing.

Derek wants to run after her, but he doesn't. He's married.

Finn just stands there, not fully comprehending what just happened.

-

Meredith drives herself home. She walks inside her house, Alex and George are in the kitchen.

"Where is she?"

George points to the stairwell. "In her room. She's probably asleep," he answers.

Meredith nods, and and quietly travels up the stairs. She stops at her room first, and changes out of her dress into more casual clothing. She then reaches Izzie's door, it's cracked open. Meredith pushes on the door slightly, which then reveals a sleeping Izzie. Meredith goes back to her room.

-

Derek drives himself home. Addison is already there. She's in bed, reading. Derek changes from his tux into something more casual. He sits at the edge of the bed, his back towards Addison. He's silent. She's silent. Derek doesn't want to say what he's about to say. Addison doesn't want to hear what he's about to say.

"I slept with Meredith," Derek finally forces out of his throat. It's painful to say. He can't believe he cheated. He looks over his shoulder at Addison. No response from her. He keeps going. "Tonight. During prom," he clarifies.

Addison looks up at Derek and back down towards her book. It's painful to hear. She wishes he wouldn't have said it, but they both know she needed to hear it.

"You love her," Addison replies nonchalantly.

Derek stares at her. Addison keeps her eyes focused on her book, although it's not like she's reading the words. Addison can't believe she just told her husband he loves someone else. No matter how true it is, she still can't believe it.

Derek's mind reacts like what Addison had said is the most shocking news since the 9/11 attacks.

"I do. I love her," he hesitates. Like he's finally understanding this piece of information only now.

A tear streams down Addison's cheek. She looks up to meet Derek's eyes. "I'm sorry, Derek."

He understands her apology. She's apologizing for not finding a more logical way to getting her husband's attention back in New York. For everything.

"I'm sorry, too."

She understands his apology. He's apologizing for falling in love with another woman. For everything.

-

Finn drives himself home. His suspicions of Meredith being involved with Derek were all but honestly confirmed at the prom. He was falling for Meredith. Too fast.

Finn didn't know what to do.

-

Derek finds himself at Meredith's front door. It's late. He shouldn't be there. Addison told him to go see her, though. No matter what had happened, Addison still wanted Derek to be happy. Meredith made him happy.

Derek knocks on the door.

George gets up from the kitchen table to answer the door.

"Dr. Shepherd." George opens the door, but doesn't let Derek in.

"Hi, I was wondering if I could speak with Meredith," Derek replies. His voice is uneasy. He is so nervous. He doesn't have anything planned as to what he's going to say.

George doesn't reply. He's slightly confused.

"Is she, uh... here?" Derek chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, I'll... get her for you."

George trudged up the stairs. He glanced at Derek one last time before going out of view.

Derek is scared. Would Meredith be happy to see him? Would she be mad at him?

He looks up and saw Meredith through the glass door. She wasn't wearing the black dress from the prom anymore. Derek decided he loved that dress. He loved sliding the black fabric off her shoulders and down her arms to reveal her soft skin.

Meredith walks outside to Derek. She's nervous.

Derek still doesn't know what to say, so he just stares. He stares into her calm blue-grey eyes. He feels like her can see into her soul while gazing into them. He stares at her lips. He remembers how soft they are, and how perfectly they fit with his. His eyes shift to her hair. He wants to entwine his fingers through her blonde locks, while his nostrils flood with the scent of lavender. He's lost himself in everything _her_.

It feels like they've been standing there outside on her porch for eternity. Not doing anything except existing.

Meredith doesn't know what to say. But, she doesn't want to go back inside and upstairs to a lonely bed. She breaks Derek's gaze and moves to sit on the steps of her porch.

Derek's eyes never leave her body. Earlier, he didn't want to admit that he'd been looking at her. Now, he can't keep his eyes off of her. He doesn't care anymore. He just wants to look at her for the rest of his life.

Derek follows her to the steps and takes a seat beside her. His side brushing hers. There was always this closeness about them. Like a force darwing them near each other. Like Hester Prynne being drawn to the scaffold.

Meredith looks forward. She looks out into the darkness. She looks at anything besides how close Derek's body is to her's. His presence always made her want more. More of anything _him_.

He glances over at her. The moonlight fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face. She was beautiful.

Derek finally speaks. "I can't..." He pauses. His voice is hesitant and strained, but he continues, "I can't get over you."

She's almost suprised that he feels exactly the same way she does.

This whole time she's been with Finn, she's been convincing herself that she's moving on.

This whole time he's been with Addison, he's been convincing himself his marriage is improving.

They were both wrong.

Derek looks out into the darkness. His mind is flooded with a million thoughts. He doesn't want to open his mouth. He'll just start rambling about how sorry he is and he'll tell her he loves her. He knows "I'm sorry" and "I love you" are not enough. Not anymore.

Meredith wants to reply. She's about to when they both see headlights and a car pulling into her driveway. A man steps out of the car. Finn.

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**A/N: This is the third fanfic I've written, but the first time I've posted here. If you all like it and want me to continue, I will. I don't have another chapter written, so it's up to you guys if you want another one.**


	2. Chapter 2

Author: Echo-ofaScream  
Title: Far Away  
Pairing: MD  
Summary: Set after Losing My Religion.

Chapter 2.

Finn just stares at them. He almost expected this. But at the same time, he really had no clue what was going on with these two. He always knew Meredith was holding back. For some reason, he figures this was it. Derek was the reason.

Meredith and Derek just sit there on the steps. Derek really has nothing to say to Finn and Meredith doesn't know what's happening. One minute Derek is telling her he can't get over her, and then the next Finn shows up.

Finn takes a few steps towards them and sighs dramatically.

Derek feels like he's in high school. Him and his girlfriend are being punished by his father for fooling around on the couch. This time it's him and his ex-girlfriend being scolded by her boyfriend for having sex in an exam room. Same difference. Just a bit more complicated.

"I've always known," Finn starts. He knows he has the upperhand. "I've always sensed something about Meredith that told me she was holding back." Finn decides he's going to address Derek. "Anytime I try to get her to open up, she avoids the situation..." Finn trails off. He doesn't know why he's saying those things or where he's going with it. So, he just stops talking.

Finn decides it's over, and begins walking back to his car.

"Finn." Meredith gets up and walks after him.

Finn stops and turns around. "Meredith, it's okay." He grabs her hand and gives if a soft kiss. "Good luck. With you know, everything."

Meredith watches him get in his car and drive away. She feels sad. Finn was a good guy. He was nice, caring, and simple. He was everything she tried to love, but failed to do so. She walks back over to the porch and sits next to Derek, letting out a soft sigh.

"So, what does this mean?" Derek asks for the fourth time.

For a second, Meredith wants to explode. It's such a loaded question, she doesn't even want to begin to dissect it. He keeps asking her what it mean, when he's the one who is married. She can't do anything about him still being married to Addison. But, Meredith doesn't freak out on him. A part of her understands what he's feeling. He gave up _everything that could have been_ with Meredith, in hopes of loving his wife again. He now has turned into an adulterer. He's scared of the consequences, scared of Karma, scared of everything. Now, he's asking Meredith for guidance, for support, for the answers.

She finally answers him. "I don't know, Derek."

He hangs his head, defeated. He wonders when his life became so damn complicated. He knew leaving New York was the best thing for him, but he wasn't prepared for the spontaneity in Seattle which broke his routine life in New York. Now, he's sitting on Meredith Grey's porch while his wife is at home. He has a million questions, and no one can give him the answers.

Derek gets up and looks down at Meredith sadly, then slowly walks to his car.

Meredith doesn't stop him.

As soon as he reaches his car, he turns around. "I just want to let you know, before you hear it from anyone else, Addison and I are getting divorced." With that he gets into his car and drives away.

Meredith can't say she was expecting that. It's been months since he's been with Addison, yet his keeps giving Meredith those dreamy looks. She always thought it was just his flirtatious nature or his charm. She never would have guessed that he was doing it because he can't let go. Now, she begins to wonder how much of an impact their prom affair had on Derek and Addison's decision to divorce.

Meredith goes back inside and up to her bedroom. She lies awake with the thoughts of the night's events.

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**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I know this chapter was quite uneventful. I just needed to get Addison and Finn out of the way. Hopefully there will be some nice Meredith/Derek stuff coming up. **


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